Score - 28
1) WWW: Incorporates some theory. written quite well.
EBI: Shorter quotes, more book references, more specific examples/textual. analysis of the game itself.
- Take out website link.
2) WWW: Excellent wider knowledge and other examples.
EBI: Could use more specialist vocabulary and check grammar.
3) WWW: Good references.
EBI: Check little grammar matches.
4) WWW:Moral panics and feminism used.
EBI: Need more information.
- Use more examples and wider content
- Explain more on the game
- I have also used 10 books, I have used 4 and the others are in my work cited.
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